This past week I went and saw the new Ghostbusters, and I could not have been more thrilled. I admit, my interest was fuelled far more by own feminist agenda rather than a genuine affection for the franchise. I don’t remember much about the original films other than it was a little too scary for my young, very sensitive self, and that part with the evil ghost in the refrigerator, so at no point was this new reboot (let’s be clear about the difference between reboot and remake) in danger of destroying the precious memories of my childhood existence. And I want to tackle this ridiculous wildebeest right the fuck now- butt-hurt dudes of the world, here is your siren call:
IF THE POWER OF VAGINAS CAN DECIMATE YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING CHILDHOOD, THEN THE EMOTIONAL SCAFFOLDING UPON WHICH YOU HAVE BUILT YOURSELF SOUNDS PRETTY GODDAMN FRAGILE. Maybe you secretly/not so secretly hate women, or think that it's a fact that women just aren't funny, or just think that Melissa McCarthy isn't shaped right to be anything other than the butt of a joke. I don't know, but if the idea of four women taking on the lead roles in a film offends your sensibilities in one of these or similar ways then FUCK YOU, YOU ARE A SEXIST FUCK. Period. Fin. Goodbye.
Don't even get me started on those trying to trot out, "Well, I don't see why it had to be all women and not both men and women." I know this sounds crazy, but there ARE men in this movie! Like a whole bunch of them! Thor even contributes as kind of part of the team once he learns how to pick up the phone! None of them happen to be the leads, that's all! "B-b-but, that's not very inclusive! That's reverse sexism!" Oh boy. When I hear this kind of shit, it makes me want to walk out into moving traffic, flail my arms from side-to-side, and just start screaming at full volume. It's not, there's no such thing, and YOU ARE WRONG. Free speech me all you want, have whatever kind of opinion you want, but having an opinion doesn't exclude it from wrong, sexist, nor from you trying to take away from something that is important.
Listen up tear-soaked Butt-Hurters, this isn't about you or your childhood. This is about giving women the opportunity to feel what it's like to identify with something they've never seen. This kind of representation is essential, not just for women, but for all minorities; we NEED more representation in mainstream ways if they are ever to be looked at as anything other than less, or not smart enough, or funny enough, or just not who want we to see in certain roles. We only succeed when there is no "other".
I'm mad as hell I even have to go into this bullshit, so let's get to the movie itself: I thought it was fucking fantastic. It wasn't perfect, but it pulled its weight. I think the only place where it really failed was in making the one black woman of the group the only one who wasn't a scientist or engineer. Nonetheless, The acts were all evenly loaded, the pacing kept its speed, the jokes landed and I laughed out loud several times. The script was thoughtful and intelligent and still light enough for a summer movie. Maybe the action sequences could've been trimmed a little; I was more interested in the scenes between the women than I was with them fighting the ghost of Gangs Of New York Daniel Day Lewis, but, oh well. They pretty much had me from the start anyway when it opened with Zach Woods touring a bunch of people through a supposedly (but then actual) haunted mansion, highlighting the house's features such as the "face bidet" and the "anti-Irish fence". Also before I forget I would like to mention that Kate McKinnon effortlessly stole my heart forever until the end of time and I will not rest until we are married. I fucking LOVED her character. I've proclaimed her as my new spiritual concierge in both life and fash-un. If nothing else, go see it for her and her hair and her unrelenting confidence and swagger. And then go watch Leslie Jones watching Game of Thrones with Seth Meyers because she is naturally hilarious and fucking PUMPED that Winterfell belongs to the Starks again. Oh and OMAAAAAAAAAR!
This movie is important, and I hope you see it. I had full blown waves of emotion watching this and I nearly fucking cried several times. I realize this is not a terribly high bar considering I also cried during Fast&Furiouser 7, but I'm being sincere. I had to hold back my tear duct oceans several times because I felt so proud and so encouraged and so moved to see women so well represented in a giant summer movie. This isn't a familiar feeling for me, or I'd hazard a guess, for most women. We know what it feels like to be marginalized, to be overlooked, to be a supporting character and never the lead; we know what it's like to be told to keep our voices down, to be told either directly or in more easily digestible ways to make ourselves smaller and quieter and to take up less space.
And dudes, I'm not yelling at you! I'm yelling specifically at the Butt-Hurters. Men are an essential part of my life and my loves, and I have them in my home and my heart and even my bed of all places! But this is the actual temperature of the room we are sitting in. We're all sweaty as fuck and the gentlemen are all sitting with their legs spread open, airing out their balls, and the women are all contorting their bodies in uncomfortable ways, trying to hide their underboob sweat. Which is CRAZY, because we're all in this hot as fuck metaphorical room together. Let's all just admit to our ass sweat! It's a perfectly normal response to the situation we all happen to be in together! But gentlemen, here's what's happening- what you can't see in this holy hell of a sweatlodge is the sign above the door that reads:
"REMEMBER LADIES, unless you look like a walking sex doll, you can go fuck yourself and march directly into the incinerator making this goddamn room so hot, because you're lack of fuckability renders you offensive and repellant and disposable."
It's a long sign.
BE COMPLIANT, BE ACCOMMODATING, BE PLEASING- this is what we are taught and this is why the new Ghostbusters is so important, whether it set out with those goals at heart or not. I got to spend 116 minutes at my local, blockbuster-centric movie football stadium watching four smart, competent, funny as hell women play four smart, competent, funny as hell women. They weren't the sidekicks, they weren't the joke, they didn't exist to define someone else. They were women I could relate to and feel inspired by and also want to be a part of their fun. I can't imagine what it could be like to be a kid and see myself in a character like one of those ladies and think, "That Holtzmann, she's weird and off-beat and smart and that's what makes her SO COOL. I want to be just like her." Imagine where our girls would go, who they would turn out to be. Imagine they learned that they can be the lead, run the show, and get shit done because they've seen representations of what that looks like. Imagine they grew up to be women whose worth wasn't determined by the symmetry of their face and the shape of their bodies, but by the weight of their words, the strength of their actions, and the conviction with which they moved.
The world is afraid of women who don't comply, who refuse to be accommodating, and who don't give a fuck about being pleasing. They are terrified of where they will go and what they will do. But you know what? The world is afraid of strong men too. They are afraid of the men that cry, that know expression beyond anger, that give voices to those who do not, and who fight for those who can not. It shouldn't be about fear, it shouldn't be about sides, it shouldn't be me vs you or us against them. Lift me up so I can see the world from your view and let's reach together. The beauty is in reaching for the grace to no longer have to fight, to no longer have to yell or push or climb, but to stand as we are without apology. Let's do this together.
Take us out, Ms. Knope.
"If I seem too passionate, it’s because I care. If I come on strong, it’s because I feel strongly. And if I push too hard, it’s because things aren’t moving fast enough. This is my home. You are my family. And I promise you — I’m not going anywhere."
-Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation, Season 2/episode 15
