Gargoyle 1: Mom sure was in a bad mood today.
Gargoyle 2: No shit. She didn't even give us a treat after our walk.
G1: I hate how she always micromanages us.
G2: Like we can't be trusted or something!
G1: *chewing on new pair of shoes* Don't even get me started.
G2: It's like she thinks we're children.
G1: *has somehow pulled all the dirty underwear out of the laundry basket and into the living room* Really, I don't want to get upset about this, but I will.
G2: I just feel like there is a lack of respect.
G1: YES! That's exactly it. It always has to be her rules, her way of doing stuff, her decision. It's a one way street with her.
G2: And it's like, there are things that we want too.
*There are now underwear EVERYWHERE*
G1: And now she won't even let us sleep in the bed anymore.
G2: Fuck her. She's such a bed hog anyway. The way she sleeps, it doesn't even look comfortable. It looks like she was crushed by a giant falling piano or something and was maybe kind of drunk.
G1: And sometimes she gets all sweaty and gross.
G2: And very occasionally she does this weird thing where she completely undresses while sleeping.
G1: Like sleep stripping?
G2: Hahaha! Yeah. What a floozy.
G1: *chewing underwear* You know what? I don't even LIKE chewing on--
A key turns in the lock, and the front door opens
G1 & G2: MOM! YOU'RE HOME!! WE MIIIIISED YOU! LOVE US! MOOOM! PAY ATTENTION TO US! LOVE US!!! FOOD TIME! WALK TIME! WE LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!!! Oh. That. Yeah, no. We have no idea how your shoes and underpants got like that. Weird... Walk time?
Natalie Bell really loves animals. More than she loves her shoes and underwear, apparently.
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