Goblin 1: Hey, where's Mom?
Goblin 2: Probably still arguing with her bike.
G1: Wasn't it her body?
G2: Yeah, whatever. She knows that bike has like 24 gears, right? I mean, that's pretty much enough to get her up Everest, so I don't understand what all this bitching and moaning over some hill is all about.
This is horseshit, it's almost 8pm! If she isn't here soon to feed us dinner I swear to god I will eat that pair of boots that I've never so much as sniffed and she has wrongly assumed are safe to leave on the shoe rack because we've always left them alone.
G1: Also, she's going to make us miss The Voice, and she's way too cheap to get a PVR.
G2: I am NOT waiting to have to watch it OnDemand two days later.
G1: Well, if she would just learn to pedal faster, then we wouldn't have to.
G2: Blake is really falling behind on building his team this year, and I want to see if he picks up anyone good.
G1: Adam really scored with that Avery Wilson, eh?
G2: OMG, such a wow moment. Just raw fucking talent.
G1: Agreed. But I really liked Nelly's Echo too. Maybe because we are part evil, but the emotional manipulation those shows try to pull with the sad backstories usually makes me feel completely unmoved. But that guy? Shit, he made me want to cry little goblin tears.
G2: It was pretty dusty in here.
G1: Okay, if you could pick any of the coaches, which one would you choose? Don't even think about it, on the count of three we'll both just say it.
One, two, three--
G1 & G2: BLAKE!
G2: The tallness?
G1: The tallness.
G1: And kind of a babe!
G2: Such a babe. He's got that assertive charm.
G1: And he seems funny. I liked that he brought his award.
G2: Never heard any of his songs though.
G1: Nope. Me either.
G2: Fuck, Mom. We're missing our show!!
G1: Oh, I just heard a bike on the balcony. You better go put her boots back.
-Natalie Bell (Mom) would like everyone to know that although her bike does have 24 gears, she's still the one powering it. It's not like the gears are pedaling the bike for her, okay?
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